Saturday, December 20, 2008

Where to go from here?

Ok, I don't really like to talk about myself, especially when it comes to negative things but I have spent the last 3 years trying to establish several internet stores where I can sell my own jewelry and stuffed animal patterns and make enough money to keep my husband off my back. I have failed to earn as much money as a 13 year old babysitter. I love making creative thins and I love working from home. I have earned over 1300 positive feedbacks on eBay and I also have a nice pro-store and 3 stores on etsy. I have fibromyalgia so I suffer from muscular pain and fatigue. I also have a very rare genetic disease called co-pro-porphyria which prevents me from taking almost all known medications (my liver will not metabolize them).

I need a new career. I have no idea what direction to go in now. I invested a great deal of time and money becoming a high school English teacher only to be driven to resign by the vice principal at the school I worked for. Nothing I did would satisfy her. I spent a year crying as I walked into the building, often during my lunch break and I also cried myself to sleep at night. I'm 53. I have had so many terrible bosses in my lifetime that I am terrified of working for another one.

I'll admit I have been battling depression for several years now. My husband insists that I earn an income and every time I think about being in a job interview, confronted by the question, "Why did you leave your last job?" I just feel a mixture of pain and anger and I can't imagine what I could answer that would make someone actually want to hire me.

I am a highly sensitive artist. I am terrible at corporate politics. I wish I could network with other people for suggestions on where to turn next.

It is snowing outside. We have several inches of accumulated snow. It would be lovely if I didn't feel so sad.

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