Tuesday, April 15, 2008

My Poem: Nightmare

This two part poem was written when I was in college. The second part is based on a real nightmare that was so intense I fainted in the dream and awoke in a cold sweat with my heart pounding in terror. It was the final term of my senior year at college and I was determined to earn straight As and graduate with honors. After the nightmare I immediately made changes in my schedule and stopped my volunteer tutoring in the PSU Writing Workshop, since it was obvious that I was overextended and on the verge of some sort of melt down. I have used my dreams and nightmares since then to help me monitor my hopes and fears.

No time--
I'm late!!
Hurry to classes,
Don't make excuses,
Eat on the run,
Read on the bus.
(Sometimes I wonder if I'll make it through.)
My calendar warns me that midterms are due.
Finally finished,
I read what I've written
and find it all rubbish,
my efforts in vain.
Visions of FAILURE
like black curtained hearses
slowly and silently
file through my brain.
Exhausted and empty,
I drop on my bed,
my alarm set for five,
and close my eyes.
and surrounded,
bent double,
in a windowless room
with low ceiling
and cold white walls,
That press in upon me.
Ugly black spiders
wait in the corners
watching my struggles
thirsty for blood.
They crawl across ceiling,
Abandoning corners,
slowly advancing
straight for my head.
Tensing cramped muscles,
I draw myself tighter,
I scream only silence,
my knees turn to water.
I feel myself fainting,
I fall into blackness.
I welcome the darkness
that welcomes the dead.
Blaring and humming
a noise screams "ATTENTION!"
I open my eyes,
The clock says it's five.

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